This is a practical, realistic and very honest approach to relationships based on Matthew being devastated by his own divorce which he really didn’t see coming as he thought he was a ‘good guy’. With a strong emphasis on active listening and practicing gratitude for your partner to build emotional connection, this book has something that all relationships, married or not, can get some good take away messages and practises from.

Many people think you can get the gist of this book by reading Gemma’s article featured in Harper’s Bazaar in 2017, however, her follow up book to the article is well worth the read. There are many fantastic quotes to reflect on, but the biggest take away is making the invisible, visible. The domestic labour divide is visible and correctable, emotional labour, not so easily defined, until now. “Emotional labour is emotional management and life management combined. It is the unpaid, invisible work we do to keep those around us comfortable and happy.” If the well thumbed copy from the library is anything to go by, this book resonates!

This book invites us to question the way we have been taught to think of value. It is well researched and sheds a timely light on the hidden toll of emotional labour. It clearly articulates the gender bias and misogyny underlying what the author calls “extractive emotional capitalism.” The book investigates the roots of gender inequality but also provides answers to the concern.

hard hitting, eye-opening classic