Self Care in the Chaos
May 2024
Hey Caddyshackers
We had a blog all lined up this month about YouTube and what’s featuring on our channel, however, with all that has been happening recently in the news around violence against women, we decided that we needed to turn inward, check in, and ask what is needed. The answer was self-care.
As a team of women, allies, and victim survivors, we’ve been impacted by recent events in Australia and daresay many of our followers have been too, for a multitude of reasons around gendered violence.
It’s imperative to unequivocally express support for women who have experienced violence. Every victim survivor deserves empathy, validation, and access to resources to heal and rebuild their lives. As allies, we must actively listen to survivors' stories without judgment, believe their experiences, and stand with them in solidarity.
We would like to acknowledge and validate any feelings you may be having at this time. Recent events may seem overwhelming, triggering, alarming, challenging or numbing.
In our sphere of influence, we advocate for systemic change, challenge harmful attitudes and behaviours, and create safe spaces where we can all feel empowered to seek support and justice.
It’s part of our job to put our efforts into advocacy, but we acknowledge that it can be draining and instead of leaning into it, at this time you may need to pull back. There will always be work to do in the advocating space, so the sustaining of self is key.
We wrote this blog to carve out some safe space to reflect on what your needs are right now and how you can best look after yourself and your loved ones at this time.
Beyond the Bubble Bath
What do you think about when someone tells you about self-care?
We all know the well-intended pieces of advice – go for a walk, have a cup of tea. But self-care is more than simply indulging in a bubble bath. While a bath can be a part of self-care, true self-care encompasses a holistic approach to nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Self-care goes beyond surface-level indulgence and is about prioritizing your needs, setting boundaries, emotional regulation, building resilience, promoting health, cultivating self-compassion, fostering connection and personal growth, continuously evolving, and becoming the most authentic version of yourself.
Having some go to rituals and activities and taking care of yourself is crucial, especially during times of uncertainty and stress.
We are no experts, but here are some self-care practices that we try to engage in that you might find helpful:
Boundaries
Learn to say no to things that drain your energy or overwhelm you. Setting boundaries helps protect your mental and emotional well-being.
“I can’t be the wife, mother, writer, and activist I want to be if I don’t first attend to my own wellness”
Mindfulness
It’s a bit of an eye roll when you hear this phrase to Practice Mindfulness (we know) but at its essence taking the time for a pause, meditation, deep breathing exercises and focusing on the present moment really does work to slow things down.
“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”
Move
Change physical channels, move your body. It can be as simple as a dance break or a shake your body break which activates the parasympathetic nervous system which in turn reduces stress and increase feelings of calmness. Go outside for five minutes, rest your eyes on something other than what you have been doing.
“Movement is the language of the body, spoken not in words but in the graceful poetry of motion.”
Connect
Maintain connections with friends and loved ones, even if it's virtual. Honestly some days a perfectly well-timed gif or post on Instagram or What’s App makes us smile and feel understood. Social support is essential for emotional resilience.
“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
Joy
Dedicate time to activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading, listening to music, cooking, or spending time in nature, or binge watching your fav show if that’s where you’re at. In our team, we are walking for MS, crocheting for kittens at the RSCPA, having art parties and doing some non-structured embroidery.
“Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”
Disconnect
It's important to stay informed, but excessive exposure to news and social media can increase anxiety and stress. This is another place to set boundaries around your media consumption and take breaks when needed.
“Disconnect to reconnect. Sometimes the best way to recharge is to unplug.”
Sleep
Autumn hit with a bang in the Illawarra & Shoalhaven and combined with Daylight Savings ending, it’s getting dark and cold early. Perfect segue to making sure you're getting enough restful sleep each night as its plays such a vital role in physical and mental health. Practise good sleep hygiene.
“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.”
Nourish
We have ALL heard this mantra but it’s true. Eat a balanced diet, stay hydrated, and engage in regular physical activity. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being. Nothing like a good sweat to flush your system and change energetic channels.
“Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
Support
Remember its ok to sit and feel these difficult emotions. Sitting in uncomfortable feelings and emotionally regulating is a crucial part of self-care. But if these feelings become too much and your struggling, don't hesitate to reach out for help. Therapists, counsellors, and support groups can provide valuable support and guidance. The Mental Health Line is a 24-hour telephone service. You can call any time day or night. A trained professional can help and refer you to services and programs. 1800 011 511.
“Taking care of your mental health is essential. It’s like doing maintenance on your soul.”
Self-care looks different for everyone, so find what works best for you and prioritize it consistently. Take small steps each day to nurture your well-being, and remember that it's okay to prioritize yourself, especially during challenging times.
Some extra thoughts
These suggestions are certainly not to add to an already long list of things to do, but to gently consider and possibly incorporate. They are not goals, or a checklist, but a way of being in the world. Remember that self-care is an ongoing practice that requires patience and commitment. By prioritizing your well-being and incorporating these practices into your daily life, you can cultivate resilience and thrive, even in challenging times.
It’s understandable and valid to feel angry in these times, to feel the collective anger within our communities, but we want to ensure that this anger is released in healthy outlets so we don’t hurt ourselves, others or things. Healthy ways to express anger can include, finding a safe space to scream or sing loudly along to a song, getting physical like dancing or exercising and venting in healthy outlets like journaling or voice recordings.
“Anger comes from within you, and its job is to help you set and maintain effective interpersonal boundaries around the things and ideas you value. At its most subtle level, anger helps you uphold mutual respect and keep open the lines of communication in your relationships.”
Engage
Engage in creative activities which help you to just be in the moment. Things such as writing, journaling, painting, drawing, colouring in or crafting.
“Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world.”
Gratitude
Take time each day to reflect on the things you're grateful for. Gratitude can help shift your focus away from negativity and cultivate a more positive outlook.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Batch it
Break tasks and goals into smaller, manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself if things don't go as planned.
“Even the smallest tasks, when done with love and intention, can lead to great achievements.”
Nature
Spending time outdoors and connecting with nature can have a calming effect on the mind and body. Take a walk in the park, simply sit outside and enjoy the fresh air or go hard and do a cold-water swim. The science is all there for this! Have a read about Shinrin-yoku in Japanese culture if you don’t already know about this.
“In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful.”
Routine
Creating a daily routine can provide structure and stability, which can be comforting during times of uncertainty. Include activities that promote self-care, productivity, and relaxation in your schedule.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”
Uplift
Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it's uplifting books, inspiring podcasts, or supportive friends. Choose to spend your time with people and activities that uplift and nourish you.
“Choose influences that water your dreams and prune your doubts, for they are the gardeners of your soul’s flourishing.”
Shout out to Skin Hunger
Skin hunger, also known as touch hunger or touch deprivation, refers to the psychological and physical need for human touch and physical contact. It can manifest as a strong desire or craving for tactile stimulation, such as hugs, cuddling, hand-holding, or other forms of affectionate touch.
Addressing skin hunger involves recognizing the importance of physical touch for overall well-being and finding ways to incorporate healthy forms of touch into one's life. This may include seeking out opportunities for social interaction, spending time with loved ones, practicing self-touch through activities like massage or self-hugging, and seeking professional support if skin hunger is negatively impacting mental health.
We can highly recommend getting a hug from a safe person. The science is in, research suggests that hugs lasting at least 10 seconds can have more significant physiological and psychological benefits compared to shorter hugs. However, the most important aspect of a hug is the genuine connection and emotional support it provides, regardless of its duration. Some people may prefer shorter hugs, while others may find longer hugs more comforting. Consent is everything, as always. Ultimately, the quality of the hug—expressing care, empathy, and affection—is what matters most.
Final final thoughts
Being affected by the news cycle, especially during times of uncertainty or crisis, is completely understandable and valid. Just remember to limit your exposure (it’s called doom scrolling for a reason) and choose trusted sources. This means being selective to prioritize reputable, trustworthy sources as opposed to sensationalized or unreliable sources of information that may contribute to fear or misinformation.
Gendered violence and violence against women are sadly nothing new. The history is a deeply entrenched and pervasive phenomenon that spans cultures, societies, and centuries. Let’s sit with the gravity and reality of gendered violence, while also sharing histories of resilience, kindness, and hope happening every day.
It's crucial to advocate for systemic change, challenge harmful attitudes and behaviors, and create safe spaces where survivors feel empowered to seek support and justice. Together, we can work towards a world free from violence, where all women are respected, valued, and protected.
If you are impulsed to engage in meaningful action, you can channel your feelings of concern or frustration into constructive action. This might look like volunteering, donating to organizations supporting affected communities, or participating in advocacy efforts. You can share or promote informative posts on social media as well. It all contributes to change.
Our team revisited the On The Couch episode with Chris Cheers webinar recording to transform it into a podcast recently. It was a timely reminder to go back to Chris’s book, The New Rulebook. It asks you to take a moment and check in with how you've been feeling lately particularly with all the recent upheaval and uncertainty which may have left many of us not only feeling exhausted, but also questioning who we are and what we want from life.
Dance Break finale!
Seven years ago, before they represented Australia at Eurovision in 2024, Australian electronic music duo Electric Fields made up of vocalist Zaachariaha Fielding and keyboard player and producer Michael Ross released this fab track “Don’t You Worry”. One of our all time favs.
NSW Health is committed to preventing and responding to all forms of violence. If you, or someone you know, needs help, support is available. Domestic, family and sexual support contacts are listed here and include 24/7 support. There are also specialist support programs to help victim-survivors, along with interventions for perpetrators.
If you or someone you know needs support, help is available:
• 1800 Respect national helpline: 1800 737 732
• Full Stop Australia: 1800 385 578
• No To Violence : 1300 766 491
• 13 YARN: 13 92 76
• Lifeline (24-hour crisis line): 131 114
• Relationships Australia: 1300 364 27
Until next time,
Peace, Love & Protection
x